Whenever someone
complains about a bad back, I try to one-up by saying I also suffer from a weak
spine, although my difficulties are more figurative. Kids used to call me
‘spineless’ or ‘lacking a backbone,’ just because I always ran from danger, or
even a conversation about danger, or even during a spelling bee when I was
asked to spell d-a-n-g-e-r. I’m certain to run from the front lines if I were
ever sent to war since I’ve run away from every history class that even
mentioned the word ‘war’. I still don’t know who won World War II.
A few years
ago I suffered a serious back injury and was confused how a person could lack a
backbone and also injure it at the same time. Chiropractor Alex Chen of
Shanghai Chiropractic confirms I have a spine, but insists he can only provide
literal treatment, and cannot address the figurative problems with my backbone.
Dr Chen pins patient X-rays to a light board, his finger tracing unnaturally
curved or compressed spines and necks. ‘These days very few people come in with
normal neck curves, because of iPads, iPhones, laptops.’ Using a pencil and
ruler I underline the angles of each disc, creating a zigzag pattern that Chen
says illustrates how one misaligned disc can cause multiple discs to overcompensate.
It’s worth noting the dramatic contrast between different causes of back
injuries: some patients suffer whiplash after violent trauma like a car crash,
others suffer trauma after Angry Birds. Car crashes versus iPads. ‘It’s
the difference between microtrauma and macrotrauma,’ says Dr Chen. ‘They can be
equally traumatic.’
We take the patient history of a young man, who points to
areas of his body and describes various aches and pains. He says it’s possible
two of those pains – an aching in his upper back as well as limited mobility in
his neck – could have resulted from practicing kung fu. This would be a form of
macrotrauma. Dr Chen hefts a spine model and explains how bone misalignment
puts pressure on nerves and may have an effect on other parts of the body. He
suggests some of the patient’s other symptoms such as tightness in his hips and a
knee popping, could be symptoms of his body compensating for those macro
injuries. This is the microtrauma.
The patient mentions that his back always
seems to be worse after sitting for a long time or when he hasn’t been
exercising. My back always seems to feel worse whenever I sense my wife is
about to ask me to help out around the house or pay attention to the kids,
requiring me to lie down, drink a beer and take a nap.
After the patient changes
into an open-backed gown, I learn how to run a nervo-scope down his spine.
Putting one in mind of the medical tricorder from Star Trek, the
nervo-scope is a handheld device that pushes two sensors against the skin. If a
disc is out of alignment, the sensors detect the heat from the resulting
inflammation and the needle will move in that direction. These potential
misalignment points are marked on the skin with a red pencil.
Dr Chen leads the
patient through a series of stretches to test his range of motion before having
him lie on a treatment table.
We run our fingers
along his spine searching for a dip similar to when you feel a bruised peach.
‘When your back stiffens and you lose that springiness and flexibility, you’re
more prone to injury.’ Dr Chen points to a dip on the upper back. ‘I do feel a
bit of swelling there. And when I push in I feel a little bit of restriction.
The scope reading, plus what I’m feeling, plus the restriction gives me a full
picture of where I’m going to adjust.’
The level of inflammation will determine
the course of treatment. ‘If the inflammation isn’t too severe we can adjust
the misalignment directly,’ says Dr Chen. If the inflammation is serious, steps
will be taken to reduce the swelling before the adjustment. He feels around for
the best hand position before asking the patient to take a deep breath then
breathe out. Dr Chen gives a dynamic thrust and the patient emits a grunt, but
says he doesn’t feel any pain. After adjusting the upper and lower back, the
patient turns on his side to treat the pelvis, and then onto his back to adjust
the neck.
After the adjustment,
the patient sits up, stretches his back, tests the mobility of his neck and
grins. ‘Wow. I have a new neck.’ He asks if the problem is sorted and Dr Chen
explains that the length of treatment coincides with how long the patient has
experienced pain. ‘If you had the problem for three years, it may take a few
months. If you just had the injury, maybe a week would take care of it.’
If
treatment is going to take a few months or longer, the patient might want to
refrain from mentioning he’s had these symptoms for fifteen years when he talks
to his insurance provider.
Dr Patti Eng, partner at Shanghai Chiropractic,
places the majority of patients into the following groups: 1. laptop, tablet,
and computer users; 2. businesspeople who travel a lot, sit in cramped seats
and carry heavy luggage; 3. students with scoliosis who may not complain of
pain but parents notice legs of uneven length; 4. pregnant women who
incorrectly compensate for the additional weight and need help turning a
breeched baby, allowing them to deliver naturally. I bet pregnant, iPad-using
businesswomen are a goldmine.
Although I’m certain there’s a large, untapped
market, at this time Shanghai Chiropractic has no plans to treat figurative
weakness of the spine.
